


And Yet

by LightningInABottle



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (is that even a thing???), Anal Fingering, Big Gay Love Story, Blow Jobs, Bottom Alexander Hamilton, Cannonverse, Confessional Sex, Established Sexual Relationship, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Historical Inaccuracy, Inaugarational Smut, Love Confessions, M/M, Pillow Talk, Porn with Feelings, Porn with a little bit of Plot, President Kink, President Thomas Jefferson, Riding, Romantic Fluff, Smut, Softcore Porn, Sub Thomas, Top Thomas Jefferson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 00:47:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningInABottle/pseuds/LightningInABottle
Summary: After being sworn in as President, Thomas Jefferson is happier than ever before.(And yet he still misses his lover, Alexander Hamilton)After not being able to see Alexander for almost half a year, Thomas finally meets him.(And yet his heart still hurts every time he looks at him)After drinking in bed with Alexander, touching him like he as longed to do so many times, Thomas is satisfied.(And yet his heart isn't)





	And Yet

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Title: Inaugural Porn With Feelings And No Direct Words

Thomas Jefferson knew he deserved this. 

He had campaigned ruthlessly for  _ months  _ on end, stayed up for hours signing paperwork, smiled confidently at huge audiences when all he wanted to do was flee back to the comfort of his estate. And now, he was here, a glass of champagne in hand, addressing the entire nation right after being sworn into the highest office in the land.  _ President,  _ Thomas could hardly believe it.  _ He was President of the United States.  _

Of course, his victory hadn’t been without sacrifices. Such as being unable able to see the one person who Thomas craved the most. Not being able to hold him, to  _ touch him.  _ To put it quite frankly, Thomas had missed Alexander Hamilton being by his side. They hadn’t seen each other in almost half a year—not in private, anyways. So imagine his surprise when Alexander had not only shown up to publicly cast his vote, but had thrown his support  _ Thomas’s  _ way.  It would have been difficult not to feel pleased with Alexander’s choice. 

Thomas grinned down at the cheering crowd, the remnants of his inauguration speech fading away. He took a dramatic gulp of his drink and stepped off the stage. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of emerald green.  _ So Alexander was here as well.  _ Thomas didn’t know what he had expected, most likely the usual coldness. But instead of being cruel and manipulative, Alexander had helped him achieve his greatest dream. It wasn’t a development Thomas was particularly keen on challenging. 

He stepped down from the stage and immediately greeted with questions and comments and more desperate masses of people. Although he normally would have disliked the attention, nothing could dim his happiness now. Not even the promise of overwhelming crowds to come. Not even the look in Alexander’s eyes as he approached Thomas, shouldering his way gracefully through to him.

_ This night would be very interesting indeed. _

 

* * *

 

Turns out, being President was very exhausting.

But that only made the peace afterward much easier. Thomas was finally able to escape to the bedroom wing of the White House, Alexander trailing a respectable distance away, after what felt like hours of socializing. Although he had no idea where his private rooms were, he was relying on the map drawn out by architects to guide him. First, he had to locate the President’s Hall.

It was fairly simple really: only a few winding pathways later, he and Alexander—still not speaking to avoid suspicion—found themselves in the leftmost corridor. When the door finally closed, Thomas felt Alexander’s presence silently walking past him and into the spacious hallway. He let out a relieved sigh at being able to escape the persistent crowds at last. Alexander  seemed to share his sentiment, leaning against one of the walls in the entrance hall, eyes lidded and a smile twisting his lips.

“Finally,” he breathed, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair to loosen it from its tie. Thomas quickly hung his elaborate jacket up, feeling as if all the energy had been sucked from his body. The inaugural ball had been high energy and filled with never-ending chatter that all seemed to be directed at him. Alexander had been there too, always at the edge of a group of people, eyeing him carefully, seeming as guarded as ever as he mingled with guests. Not once had he approached Thomas, save for brushing past him with a murmured “ _ Congratulations”  _ and an invitation to meet him after the celebration had died down. 

How could Thomas refuse someone like him, especially when he looked so stunning in his tailored suit?  _ Especially when it was he who secured his victory.  _

“So eager for my attention, Alexander?” Thomas teased, looping his arm through Alexander’s and leading him through the rest of the rooms. His inauguration had been so hectic that he had not yet gotten to see his official quarters, so he was just as curious as Alexander, who could not seem to contain his quick steps.

“The reporters have been all but tugging at your coattails this entire evening.” Alexander rolled his eyes, allowing Thomas to guide them through doors and corridors. He tilted his head and smiled, as charming as ever. “I simply appreciate the chance for some peace and quiet with my  _ President _ .” The slight purr in his voice sent a shiver up Thomas’s spine. Although the title had been said by thousands to him, it never sounded as good as it did now, rolling off Alexander’s tongue.

“Is that a roundabout way of saying you missed me?” Thomas slowed his pace to lean closer. It was a welcome relief from fighting—their tipsy state allowed for a playfulness they could never have had before. Thomas found himself enjoying Alexander like this, with his cheeks tinted pink and lips turned up flirtatiously. 

“Perhaps.” 

Maybe it was the alcohol that made him so relaxed, but it was impossible not to stop and pull his lover closer, locking them into a passionate embrace that never seemed to end. Their mouths were soft when they touched, and Thomas’s heart fluttered when Alexander deepened the kiss. After a few more seconds basking in their bliss, he moved away with a laugh, intoxicating Thomas with the smell of soap and champagne.

“If we keep this up, I will never get to see the bedroom.” Thomas couldn't seem to stop chasing Alexander, pressing featherlight kisses on his lips. Although every part of his body longed to draw closer to the man at his side, he managed to continue walking. His veins thrummed with an exhilarating buzz, and he could hardly recall a time he felt so unbelievably happy. 

When he reached the ornate door he recognized as the President’s quarters, he did not hesitate before pushing it open. Alexander let out a low whistle as they scanned the room. Thomas took in the spacious area, opulent without being tasteless or forgoing basic comforts. It was furnished with dark furniture, luxurious carpeting, and there appeared to be an adjoining washroom. And of course, one couldn’t be standing next to his lover without mentioning the plush, ornate bed in the center of the room. 

“ _ Damn…”  _ Alexander said, turning to look around. He grinned cheekily at Thomas. “Would you mind if I stayed here sometimes?” 

Thomas stepped forward to stand next to him, running a hand from Alexander’s collar down his back, feeling him shiver. Thomas leaned closer and whispered in his ear: “I would like nothing more.” 

Alexander leaned into his touch, falling into their routine so easily after months of being apart. Thomas pulled away to study him intently, a strange thought drifting across his mind. He didn’t want this to be another rushed, hateful rendezvous, not when they were both so relaxed. 

“I believe a guest was kind enough to gift me some fine wine for my inauguration.” 

Alexander’s eyes lit up immediately, a sly smile on his lips,

“It would be rather rude to waste it.” 

Thomas grinned in response, brushing some of Alexander’s hair behind his ear and leaning down to press a lingering kiss to the spot where his jaw met his neck.

“By the time I get back, I fully expect at least half of your clothes to be off.” 

Alexander shivered in anticipation, turning around to push his lips against Thomas’s. 

“Consider it done,” he whispered, making his way to the bed as Thomas all but sprinted out of the room, trying to recall where the kitchens were. After a few minutes of ducking in and out of doors, Thomas finally spotted where the wine was. A parlor maid—the same one that would most likely be employed in the White House after a few weeks—had collected it and put it by the window to keep it cool. The knowledge that his time with Alexander would once again be cut short only made Thomas want to make the most of this night. 

Grabbing the bottle and untying the ribbon around it, Thomas whirled around and began speed walking back to his bedroom.  _ The President’s bedroom.  _ It was only when he pushed the door open once more did it dawn on him that he had forgotten the wine glasses. But staring at Alexander, lounging on his bed without a care in the world, Thomas could hardly bring himself to care, much less return to the kitchens. 

Alexander had taken off his emerald jacket, matching waistcoat, and cravat. His shoes were also gone, leaving him in just his shirtsleeves and breeches. Thomas’s breath caught in his throat at the way Alexander was stretched out, a small sliver of skin visible above where his belt rested. Upon seeing his reaction, Alexander’s self-satisfied smirk widened.

“Why don’t you  _ come  _ and join me?” 

Thomas spared one more glance at the  _ infuriatingly attractive  _ man in his bed before divesting himself of most of his clothing until he had on only a shirt and his trousers.  He faltered once he took the wine bottle once more.

“I forgot the glasses.” 

Alexander raised an eyebrow, rolling to the side to make room for Thomas, who walked forward and stood by the bed. 

“We can manage without them.” Thomas couldn’t hold back his snort.  _ Of course  _ Alexander would be this uncultured. “Unless, of course, you would rather leave…” Alexander reached out to run his hand down Thomas’s chest, hooking a finger into his belt loops and tugging him down. Their mouths pressed together and as they kissed, Alexander cleverly took the bottle from Thomas, who didn’t mind the action as much as he should have. 

“I find that I am inclined to stay,” Thomas murmured, brushing his lips over Alexander’s and settling himself down over the covers. He reached back onto the bedside drawer where he had placed the opener. Pulling away for a moment, he passed it to Alexander. 

“ _ Good.”  _ Alexander was as distracting as ever, his shirt riding up even more when he opened the bottle with a  _ pop.  _ He tossed the cork over his shoulder and took a sip of the wine.

“Give me that,” Thomas demanded, shifting so that he was halfway on his side and halfway sitting up. Alexander simply raised an eyebrow teasingly. 

“Now what would the people say? Thomas Jefferson, newly inaugurated and drinking in bed with his nemesis. What a pretty picture.” Alexander hid his smile behind the bottle, only giggling when Thomas yanked it away, taking a slow sip of the wine and waving it towards him.

“I will pour this over your head,” he threatened, something warm fluttering in his chest.

“And ruin the bedsheets? You would  _ never _ .” 

Thomas simply winked at him, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing when Alexander’s cheeks colored. It was so unlike him to be bashful, but Thomas found himself not minding the change. After all, he has worked so hard for this, it was only fair that he could relax and allow himself to let go of his usual tense hatred. 

He could hardly remember why he ever looked at Alexander with anger. His feelings had softened to something like affection.  _ When had that happened? _

They drank like that for a few minutes, time becoming meaningless in their bubble of contentment. Neither of them spoke, simply looking in each other’s eyes as they sipped from the bottle. But then Thomas spoke, his voice smooth as silk and just as soft. 

“I propose a toast.” 

Alexander gave Thomas the wine before leaning back onto the blanket. Thomas chewed his lip slightly as he thought of something to say. His eyes lit up, and he saw the action reflected in Alexander’s bright eyes. 

“To the betterment of our country,” Thomas said, raising the bottle in a mock-salute. Alexander echoed his statement, holding up an invisible glass as Thomas drank. Somehow, this felt like a more final representation of his presidency, with even Alexander acknowledging it. The drinks were making a pleasantly warm hum spread through his veins, and he found himself speaking before he could comprehend his words. 

“You speak so ardently of patriotism, Alexander.” Thomas grinned at him, licking stray droplets of wine from his lips and passing the half-empty casing back to Alexander, who took it with one hand. He wasn't quite sure what overtook him at that moment, maybe it was the euphoric high of his inauguration or the buzz from the alcohol or something else entirely that was all too easy to name. Especially with Alexander lying in his bed, smiling and pink-cheeked, drinking straight from a bottle languidly. “Perhaps you could prove your loyalty and  _ serve _ your country.”

Alexander raised his eyebrows curiously and laughed around the bottle at his lips, the action becoming infectious. Their lighthearted chuckles lasted until Alexander swallowed down his wine and set it on the nightstand nearby with a  _ clink.  _ His eyes darkened suddenly as his smile faded away.  

Thomas’s heart skipped and the warmth coursing through his body intensified, becoming molten. Suddenly, they were both completely silent, staring at each other with a tension that had not been there before. The bubbly, carefree atmosphere vanished, replaced with wanting greed and a sudden need for contact that wasn't there. Their hungry gazes met and he felt an unbearably strong pull towards the man who was now leaning closer to press his palm against Thomas’s shoulder. He was pushed off-balance until he was no longer propped up on his elbow but felt the plush bed against his back.  

_ “And how, pray tell,”  _ Alexander’s voice lowered into a seductive purr, his dark stare never wavering as he leaned in, his breath intoxicatingly bittersweet against Thomas’s face.  _ “Would I serve my country, Mister President?” _

The deep red flush of Thomas’s cheeks had nothing to do with his drunkenness. Although his initial words were only meant as a jest, Alexander’s expression was nothing but serious. Thomas found himself so entranced by the way his lips moved around the title that he didn’t notice Alexander’s leg swinging over his hips until he felt the man on top of him. His hair was messy, eyes burning with exhilaration and single-minded determination as he smoothed his hands over Thomas’s chest. 

“Surely you can think of something?” Thomas’s voice shook with breathlessness as he grew increasingly more flustered. Alexander’s lowered eyes scanned over his face, drinking in his dishevelment. He bit his lip and smirked down flirtatiously, playfulness clouded with desire mixing in his expression

“Anything for my nation.” Alexander’s hands wandered as he spoke, slipping under his shirt and causing something in Thomas’s stomach to tighten. Every second that the calluses on Alexander’s palms stroked over his torso, it became increasingly more difficult to draw air into his lungs. Lying below Alexander as he spoke of  _ serving,  _ using Thomas’s newly appointed status with that cottequish  _ look  _ in his eyes was enough to make his head spin, intoxicated and ecstatic. 

Alexander quickly withdrew, only to start tugging the hem of the shirt up, and Thomas shifted so that it could be pulled over his head and thrown to some darkened corner of the room. Thomas reached his arms up to start fiddling with the buttons at Alexander’s collar, thankful that they both had the good sense to take off most of their clothing before getting in bed. But even so, it was taking too long and he quickly gave up, leaving the shirt halfway unbuttoned and instead choosing to rest his hands over Alexander’s belt. When Thomas began fumbling with the buckle, tugging at it uselessly, he had the  _ audacity  _ to shift his hips teasingly, grabbing onto Thomas’s wrists and holding them against the bed.

“Now now, Mister President. Be patient, we have all night. And when it  _ comes  _ to the future of our country, I suggest we take our time.” Thomas’s breath caught in his throat as he flushed at the words, and his response was cut off by the insistent push of soft lips against his own. Alexander had leaned down over him until their hearts pounded frantically through the thin fabric of his partially undone shirt. Their mouths seemed to be magnetized together as they could never stop kissing, whether it was passionate and messy or softening with gentle brushes. 

Thomas found himself pleasantly surprised at Alexander’s tender touches, his willingness to slow down. He tasted like wine, leaving a sweet tang in Thomas’s mouth when he pulled away, whispering so quietly that Thomas had to strain in order to hear him. 

“You look  _ so good  _ underneath me.” Alexander rolled his hips and Thomas couldn't hold back his gasp. His hands flew up to grab onto the fabric of the other man’s shirt, running down his spine and over the back of his thighs. The reaction shivered through both of their bodies.  This time, Alexander didn't protest when Thomas pulled his belt away. 

_ It was strange,  _ Thomas thought,  _ being under Alexander.  _ Their usual meetings were always one vicious power play, with Thomas holding physical control while his partner taunted him, manipulative as ever, always trying to come out on top. But how they were positioned now had nothing to do with power—but instead was a way for Alexander to have full access to Thomas’s body. His unwillingness to let Thomas sit up was not about submission, but about pleasure. 

The realization, combined with the press of Alexander’s hips, the stroke of his hands over his chest was enough to make a low sound, a name, spill from Thomas’s lips. 

_ “Alexander.”  _ Immediately after speaking, Thomas turned his head to the side, becoming even redder. He was not normally this vocal, but something in Alexander’s slow, intimate touches brought it out of him. The tilt of his face gave Alexander the perfect angle to trail soft kisses along his jaw, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“There is no need to be quiet,” he murmured against Thomas’s pulse point. For once, he did not bite down, only grazed his teeth over the skin. “The guests have gone home, and there are no servants or neighbors to overhear. I want to hear you.” After a moment’s pause, he added; “ _ Mister President _ .” Thomas’s breath caught. Hearing Alexander acknowledge his rank so suggestively with his legs pressing down on his body made tingles of heat burn through his bloodstream. 

He slipped his hands under Alexander’s shirt, running them up his back and pushing it up as he did so. Alexander’s mouth wandered down his neck, and he pulled away only for a moment, just enough time to unbutton the piece of clothing all the way and toss it off. His touches never became anything but persistently gentle, and Thomas was unable to understand the sudden _ —but not unwelcome _ —change

Alexander’s kisses wandered lower and Thomas’s breathing began to pick up. Desire was making his head spin, and he could hardly handle the sensations that threatened to overwhelm his senses. He was tensed up in anticipation that grew hotter with every press of Alexander’s mouth against his stomach. Relinquishing all control, letting his partner focus solely on him, was something that made Thomas both nervous and excited.  _ Mostly excited  _ he decided as Alexander ran his lips over his breeches before pulling away to bring himself up closer to Thomas’s face, making eye contact. 

“What would you like me to do?” Thomas hoped his frustrated whine was enough of an answer, but Alexander did not budge. “This is not a way to taunt you, I swear. I simply want to know how to please you.” Thomas was sure that his sharp inhale and the shiver of anticipation that followed was felt by Alexander. Everything about tonight was so unexpected in the best way; the playful flirting, the tender touches and now—Alexander’s paradoxical sincerity. 

“ _ Mouth.”  _ He gasped out, all the air in his lungs seemingly vanishing. Although Thomas wanted nothing more than to look away from Alexander’s gaze, he found himself transfixed by those dark eyes that seemed to stare into his soul. “ _ I need your mouth.” _ Alexander smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips before sliding back down, undoing the buttons on Thomas’s breeches with deft fingers. He looked up at Thomas, who had shifted onto some of the pillows on the bed to better watch him.

“Anything my President wishes.” Alexander pulled the last piece of clothing off, and the stockings were soon to follow. Thomas nudged his hips forward, biting his lip when Alexander’s mouth found his inner thigh, planting kisses on the sensitive skin. He felt almost dizzy, trembling with need. Usually, Alexander would deny him, move away, dig his nails into his hip bones. But now his fingertips were soothing, the look in his eyes both playful and vulnerable. 

Thomas could not hold back his sharp inhale when Alexander used one hand to take ahold of him—his touch featherlight and his strokes slow. Not taking his eyes off of his face, he brought his mouth to slide over Thomas. And then, his pink lips were wrapped around him, engulfing him in wet heat. He jolted, unable to stop the moan that tore out of his throat when Alexander’s cheeks hollowed over him. 

Thomas’s breath caught sharply when he saw how Alexander  _ looked:  _ pupils blown wide and eyes glistening with determination and a dark flush that matched the color of his lips spreading over his cheekbones. A wave of heat rippled through him, and he turned his face aside, closing his eyes. Alexander pulled away—leaving a string of saliva in his wake—his voice barely more than a murmur.

“Look at me.” 

Thomas whined in response, shaking his head and kept his eyes squeezed shut. The mere sight of Alexander, so perfectly debauched, was enough to make his gut tighten. It was  _ unfair, _ how perfect Alexander’s reddened, swollen lips looked stretched around him, doing indescribable things to his body. 

“I cannot, not if I want to—” Thomas swallowed, mouth suddenly becoming dry “—To last.” His cheeks burned with the admission, but his embarrassment was eased away with Alexander’s hands gently running over his thighs as he chuckled, looking far too self-satisfied. 

“Don’t worry. I will go slow.” As soon as Thomas’s stare focused back on Alexander, he moved down and took him back into his mouth. Thomas did his best to calm the frantic pounding of his heart. Although he wanted to look away, he kept his gaze solely on the man between his legs. After all, Alexander had asked for so little and it was only fair for Thomas to oblige. 

He let out a groan of bliss when Alexander slipped even lower. Thomas’s hands gripped the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turned white and his hips bucked forward involuntarily. A jolt of equal parts panic and bliss struck him but quickly vanished when—instead of glaring at him—Alexander simply smiled and relaxed his throat to allow Thomas better access.

Alexander began to bob his head with the perfect combination of pressure and rhythm and  _ heat.  _ Thomas gasped, arching off the bed. He could hardly bear the sensations Alexander’s skilled, swirling tongue brought—the way his mouth moved around him. Arousal burned through Thomas’s veins and coiled tightly in his gut. It was impossible to muffle the sounds that escaped him: either low, breathless moans or Alexander’s name.

When Alexander started to hum, the vibrations from his throat sent bolts of pleasure shooting through Thomas. He was getting increasingly closer to the edge, and he feared he would spill over if he allowed Alexander to continue. Just then, Alexander curled his tongue over him, and Thomas jerked, a strangled sound escaping him. Thomas knew it would only take another movement like that before he would come. 

“Stop,” he panted, voice ragged with the effort. Alexander immediately stilled, and Thomas squirmed away at the first opportunity, the action taking all of his self-control. “I want more than this.” He didn’t have the chance to be with Alexander for months, and he couldn’t bear to have this night end so soon. Realization flashed through Alexander’s eyes, and he pressed a lingering kiss to Thomas before pulling away completely. He shifted, bringing himself up closer to Thomas’s face, which must have looked absolutely debauched. 

“Do you have oil?” Thomas froze, jaw clamping down once he realized that  _ of course,  _ the Presidential quarters wouldn’t have what he usually stored in his rooms, considering he had just been elected. Granted, he hadn’t expected for Alexander to show up to his inauguration, but that didn’t stop frustration from welling up inside him. “Oil.  _ Oil. Dammit.”  _ Thomas’s brain immediately rifled through possible alternate activities, but he knew he wouldn’t be satisfied without that perfect, searing closeness he had missed so desperately. He had been expecting Alexander’s lips to drop into a frown, but instead, he just grinned. The look on Alexander’s face was far too smug.

“It just so happens that  _ I _ had the good sense to bring some with me.” Thomas was torn between snorting incredulously and sighing in relief. He watched as Alexander pushed himself off the bed—unfortunately, still clothed—and turned around to wink, licking his lips tantalizingly as he did so. Heat pooled in Thomas’s gut with the realization that his taste was still in Alexander’s mouth. 

“Vixen,” he murmured, the word sounding more like praise than the usual insulting tone it carried. Alexander responded with a wide smile. 

“It always pays to be prepared, does it not?” There was no arguing with that, not when Alexander was quickly divesting himself of his trousers and stockings, not taking his gaze off of Thomas’s ever-darkening eyes. He made his way over to the small table on which he had folded his green jacket and matching waistcoat. After a few moments of rifling through them, during which Thomas took full advantage of the view he got of Alexander’s almost-bare body, Thomas could not stand the wait any longer.

He stood up on unsteady legs and made his way over to where Alexander stood, his back turned to him. Just as Alexander was about to turn around, a small glass bottle of oil in his hand, Thomas wrapped his arms around him, running his palms over Alexander’s torso and feeling the shiver and soft sound of pleasure that followed. Encouraged, Thomas let his hands drift lower until they dragged over the front of the undergarments teasingly. He pushed them down, his mouth finding Alexander’s neck at the same time his fingers finally wrapped around him. 

Alexander moaned, bucking forward and throwing his head back against Thomas’s body and reminding them both that they were pressed almost flush against each other. With every slow stroke, every twist of his wrist, Alexander seemed to lose control a bit more, rocking into Thomas’s grasp with reckless abandon. It was only when Alexander’s grip on the glass in his hand tightened and needy whimpers spilled from his lips that Thomas pulled away. He reached to take the oil but was batted away.

“You go lay down on the bed.” Alexander’s voice was demanding, contradicted by the breathlessness in his voice as he made his way to the nightstand and set the bottle there. “I can prepare myself.” Thomas simply chuckled, reaching out to hold onto Alexander’s waist, guiding him to the bed with gentle hands and laying them both down. 

“Put your leg over me,” he instructed, settling himself on his side. They rarely faced each other like this, and Thomas found himself wondering why they didn’t do so more often. Alexander was truly beautiful, all lean muscle and flushed skin. Thomas couldn’t help but stare, letting his eyes roam over him, trying to imprint the image in his mind. Something flashed in Alexander’s eyes, and Thomas was suddenly struck by the realization of how close they were, to the point where they were breathing the same heated air.

“Do not tell me what to do.” Despite his retort, Alexander shifted so that his leg was propped up on Thomas’s hip. The heat from his thighs warmed Thomas’s entire body. He reached over to the nightstand and unstoppered the small glass bottle, smiling to himself at the way Alexander watched him with rapt anticipation, shivering slightly when Thomas ran a hand gently over the curve of his waist, letting his knuckles brush over his stomach. 

“Now, is that any way to address your leader?” Thomas couldn’t keep the teasing lilt from his voice when he withdrew, slicking up two of his fingers in the oil, making sure not to spill any. Alexander squirmed impatiently, biting his lip and scrunching up his eyebrows when Thomas pressed one finger up against him, slipping in with ease. He whimpered—a quiet, needy sound that had Thomas wanting to grind into the bedsheets. 

“Just—” Alexander’s response was cut off with a moan when Thomas probed deeper, intent on taking his time working him open.  “— _ Dammit _ , Thomas. I am supposed to be focusing on _ you. _ ” Such generosity from Alexander was rare, and although Thomas wanted to savor it while it lasted, he also couldn’t help the way his breath caught at the expression on his lover’s face when he touched him.

“Oh, but I adore seeing you like this, breathless and panting.  _ All for me. _ ” Thomas deliberately waited until Alexander started speaking to remove his finger, only to press a second one in. It was simply  _ too _ tempting—hearing Alexander’s extensive lexicon vanish with just one movement.

“All for you—Thomas,  _ please,”  _ Alexander whined, starting to push forward onto him, trembling and needy. Thomas grinned at him, heat sparking within him when he felt Alexander brush his abdomen. He resisted the urge to wrap a hand around him, knowing that they were both too close to the edge to handle it. 

“What?” He asked teasingly.

“ _ More.”  _

Thomas knew very well what Alexander was pleading for because he wanted the same thing. But he also wanted to relish in all of the pretty sounds that escaped Alexander’s mouth—the same mouth that had just been wrapped around him. His train of thought broke apart in a shudder of heat.  _ Jesus Christ,  _ Thomas was so far gone. 

When he curled his fingers inside Alexander, the man’s lips fell open in a pleasure-drunk gasp. He looked so wonderfully inviting that Thomas couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him. Thomas continued running his fingertips over the spot he had previously touched and drawing out more breathy, keening moans. They continued to kiss as Thomas pumped his fingers at an increasingly quicker pace. He pulled away, not breaking eye-contact with Alexander, and spoke:

“Do you want me?” 

Alexander drew himself even closer. “ _ So much.” _

Satisfied with the pleading tone in his voice, Thomas nodded but did not pull away, too focused on the impatient bliss taking over Alexander’s face, which was flushed a dark pink. “But you have to stop now if you want us to continue.” Alexander’s voice was ragged like he could hardly speak. Thomas barely had time to move his hand away, his heart pounding at the way Alexander shuddered without the contact, before he was being pushed onto his back once more.

Alexander regained his original position, and he smirked down at Thomas as he reached for the bottle of oil placed on the bedside drawer. He poured some into his hand and reached for Thomas, taking ahold of him with skilled fingers. 

“This is much better, Mister President. Would you not agree?” Thomas could only muffle his groans as Alexander slicked him with the oil. He had never wanted anything this much, not in any one of their previous couplings. Now, Alexander was completely in control of his pleasure, and the thought shouldn’t have made Thomas as aroused as it did. 

Alexander braced his hands on Thomas’s chest, his eyes dark with desire. He tilted his head, a silent question to which Thomas responded with a reassuring nod. Slowly, with the type of care that he rarely exhibited, Alexander moved to let Thomas brush over his oiled entrance. And then he sunk down onto him, inch by inch. Thomas’s vision whited out and he moaned, overwhelmed with pleasure. He started to hold his breath in an attempt to calm himself, lungs burning as he went further inside Alexander. 

As soon as Alexander was fully settled, Thomas let out a groan of bliss. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed this—the intimate closeness, the molten gold in his veins, the fire that tingled through him—until now. Everything felt so  _ good,  _ so unbearably  _ perfect  _ that Thomas was left breathless. But he was quickly snapped from his daze when he heard the sharp hiss Alexander gave out, eyebrows furrowing together. 

“Are you alright?” Thomas frowned up at him in concern. Alexander just nodded and smiled weakly.

“I am,” Alexander said, exhaling slowly and letting his hands run up Thomas’s stomach. “It has been a while.” Almost five months to be exact, leaving them both lonely and stressed due to the elections. But now, Thomas could hardly recall a time he had been so satisfied, so unbelievably happy. 

“Are there no people willing to bed you in my absence?” Although his words were teasing, jealousy that was all too familiar sparked in Thomas’s chest. Alexander simply laughed, shaking his head. He had yet to move, and Thomas found his impatience growing by the second. 

“Oh, there are. Yet none of them quite compare to you.” Alexander rolled his hips, the slightest movement short-circuiting Thomas’s brain, making him see stars. He could not help the whimper that escaped him. Alexander felt wonderfully tight around him, causing a burning pressure to begin to build within his body. 

_ “Say it.”  _ Thomas’s voice was little more than a growl, his mind dissolving into ecstasy with every movement. He didn’t need to elaborate, the possessiveness in his eyes saying more than he ever could have. Alexander’s fingers danced along his collarbone gently, and Thomas knew the frantic beating of his heart was unmistakable. 

“You’re the only one— _ ah, Thomas!”  _ Alexander’s words were replaced with a loud cry of pleasure when Thomas pushed up suddenly. A flash of heat was quick to follow at the way Alexander tightened around him, how he called Thomas’s name with his head thrown back, his very-kissable neck flushing pink. After his breathing had somewhat evened out, Alexander scowled down playfully at him and began to rock his hips, drawing out shallow gasps. 

“I am supposed to be doing all the work, Mister President. After all, it is  _ I _ that must serve my country.” Thomas allowed himself to relax against the bed, amazed at how Alexander could string words into sentences and chastise him so easily. He could barely  _ think,  _ let alone speak. Consumed by the feeling of Alexander, overwhelmed by the sensations, all he could do was moan when Alexander lifted himself up and slipped back down onto him.

“ _ Oh my god, yes.”  _ Thomas rasped, trembling with need. “ _ Just like—like that.” _ Flushed and grinning, Alexander moved again, thighs quivering and spine arching as he set up a steady rhythm. Thomas couldn’t stop the sounds that escaped his lips, breathless praises and incoherent groans. It felt like he was burning alive—enveloped in Alexander and at the mercy of his gentle caresses. With every push and pull of his hips, Thomas dissolved further into mindless pleasure, giving himself completely over to Alexander.

When their stares met, both of their eyes were glazed over with desire. Thomas could hardly remember such a time like this, such intimacy. He was seized by the sudden urge to draw Alexander as close as possible, to press their lips together and match every one of his movements with a thrust of his own. Maybe it was the way that Alexander bit his lip in single-minded concentration or the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. Or maybe it was the vulnerability in his expression that made Thomas’s heart flutter.

Unable to stand the lack of closeness any longer, Thomas eased Alexander down on top of him until their hips pressed together, then their chests, and then their foreheads. When they kissed it was tender and drawn-out, only interrupted by their panting—Alexander’s from exertion and Thomas’s from pleasure. Although they were completely against each other, mouths all but molded together as Alexander rolled his hips over him, Thomas still couldn’t get enough. 

He began to push upwards at the same time Alexander slid down, drawing out needy whimpers with each movement. Thomas’s arms ran over his back in an attempt to bring them closer together. It didn’t make sense—the feeling that had taken root in his heart, coaxed out by Alexander’s unusual kindness. Normally without their regular bickering and anger, there was not enough heat to get them both so wound up. But now, it was not their hatred that fueled their arousal, but their intimacy.

Thomas ran his hands through Alexander’s hair down to his hips, making sure not to tug, to ruin the haze of gentleness they were in. When Alexander’s lips found their way to his neck, his hips snapped up harder as he pulled Alexander down, causing them to moan in unison. The action just seemed to make them lose control even more, so Thomas did it again, gripping on to Alexander to tug him closer, pushing in more forcefully and causing him to sound out more loud praises. As close as they were, Thomas could feel their shallow breaths, pounding hearts and soft murmurs that were impossible to decipher. He was momentarily entranced by how Alexander felt above him—light and warm and pliant. 

The fiery coil in his gut was growing tighter with every passing second, his groans becoming louder with each desperate, rhythmic rock of his hips. Alexander seemed to be just as responsive, based on the sweet, urgent sounds that he was making every time he moved. Thomas was unraveling beneath him. He had never been so close to someone, to the point where it was not only their limbs that intertwined but their souls. And he had never wanted to be closer, even though it seemed impossible. Something overtook him in that senseless moment of pleasure, and words fell from his lips like honey. 

“Alexander,  _ please, _ I’m so close. You feel so perfect— _ oh my god— _ please don’t stop.  _ I lo _ —” Thomas found himself speaking before he could properly process what he was saying, too caught up in  _ Alexander  _ and  _ friction  _ and how damn  _ good  _ everything felt. It was only when his brain caught up to his mouth that he realized what he had almost said. 

_ I love you.  _

But he didn’t. He  _ couldn’t.  _ Thomas’s mind spun, his heart freezing in his chest, even as it fluttered frantically. Never, not  _ once  _ in their strange, twisted affair had Thomas ever entertained the possibility that he could grow to care for the infuriating man that kept ending up in his bed. But of course his body had betrayed him—the intimacy of the entire situation combined with the elation of becoming President, and the feeling of scorching, molten heat enveloping him—gave way to words that he would never say. But now, with Alexander’s lips muffling their ramblings as he tightened around Thomas, it was all too easy to imagine, to pretend that they were lovers who were actually in  _ love.  _

_ “Oh god more please, faster, yes, Thomas, right there _ —” Alexander’s kiss was broken off with a keening gasp when Thomas reached down and—not slowing down the rapid, shallow thrust of his hips—wrapped his fingers around Alexander. He was so needy, so hard beneath the strokes of Thomas’s hand that were timed to match the perfectly angled rocking of the hips. Every nerve in Thomas’s body felt electrified, like Alexander’s skin was setting him alight. And there, in that moment of perfect fire and pressure and unbearable tension, he allowed himself to believe that  _ maybe  _ love wasn’t a word so foreign for the two of them. He pressed Alexander as close to him as possible, pushing their lips together with an equal mix of passion and gentleness, and groaned into the kiss. It was a low, throaty sound that Alexander responded to with a moan of his own.

All it took was a twist of Thomas’s wrist and a well-timed movement that ground both of their hips together before Alexander jolted, spilling over into his hand and throwing his head back to let a strangled shout tear its way from his throat. His entire body trembled with ecstasy as he came, grinding urgently onto Thomas, clenching around him so tightly that for a second—his mind knew only him and Alexander and their intertwined bodies. 

Every muscle in Thomas’s body drew taut, and then pleasure washed over him that was so intense and indescribable that his vision whited out. All he wanted to do was memorialize this perfect moment of intimacy when he came undone beneath his partner, a euphoric cry spilling from his lips. He felt himself pulse with waves of bliss, then their mouths were crashing together once more as they arched desperately into one another, a litany of each other’s names spilling from their lips.

_ Love love love  _ was all that ran through Thomas’s brain as the heat inside him was finally released. Alexander’s body relaxed on top of his, still quivering from the aftershocks of his climax. Their sweat-slicked skin was flushed and they panted heavily with exertion. Heart pounding, head spinning, mind frayed yet blissful—Thomas had never felt happier.

They stayed like that for a bit longer, still breathless from their passion. It was only after Alexander had pressed another gentle kiss to his lips that Thomas allowed him to disentangle their tangled, boneless figures and roll over beside him, gulping hungrily for air. When he tilted his head, the light from the lamps around them caught on the sharp angles and soft curves of his body, glinting off of his almost-black eyes which were sparkling with gratified joy. He smiled, his expression light and playful, with an undercurrent of tenderness that Thomas couldn’t quite describe. 

Although he wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever, in his soft bed with Alexander by his side, there was still the matter of cleaning up their release, which was warm and sticky on both of their abdomens and thighs. He moved to sit up, but was soothed back down on the bed with a gentle hand on his chest and a slow, sweet kiss that left him dizzily satisfied.  

“Don’t fret, Thomas. I can take care of it.” Alexander smiled and pushed himself up off the bed, the sheets almost seeming to cling to his body. Thomas watched him leave with lidded eyes, drinking in the unsteadiness of his movements as he walked shakily over to the washroom, using the wall for support. He returned only a minute later, after rummaging through no shortage of cabinets, a damp cloth in his hand. Alexander cleaned himself up first, quickly wiping at his stomach and legs. 

After rinsing the rag in one of the basins nearby, he made his way back to Thomas’s side, kneeling by the bed so he could swipe the cool fabric over the heated skin. Thomas shifted around when needed, despite Alexander’s protests. It felt nice to be taken care of like this, causing a warm, fluttery feeling to start in Thomas’s chest. Once Alexander disposed of the washcloth, he settled himself onto the bed once more, pulling the sheets up over him and Thomas. He stretched himself out, the pop of his spine audible. After relaxing once more, he allowed Thomas to draw him closer until he could pepper small kisses along his chest.

“Congratulations on the Presidency,” he murmured, earning a rich laugh from Thomas. Their bodies slotted together perfectly, warm and content. Thomas never wanted this to end, never wanted to go back to the painful normalcy of hating Alexander, shattering their rose-hued haze of wine and intimacy. For now, he allowed himself to relax, wrapping an arm around Alexander and smiling when he felt his lover nuzzle into his neck.

“Alexander?” Thomas wasn’t quite sure what had prompted him to speak. Maybe it was the fear of Alexander leaving him alone as he so often did, or the anxious shock from what he had almost said in the throes of desire. He still hadn’t addressed that, unwilling to cope with the possible implications of telling his greatest rival and temptation that he— _ loves him.  _ Which wasn’t true— _ couldn’t _ be true. So really there was nothing to worry about. Then why did everything feel so irreparably strange?

“Hm?” Alexander blinked up at Thomas sleepily, unaware of the conflict growing within him. Before Thomas could stop himself, he bent his neck to give Alexander a deep, lingering kiss. Slow and unhurried, it left both of them satisfied like nothing else could. The doubt and worry from before continued to buzz at the edges of Thomas’s mind, but he chased it away to the best of his ability. 

“I missed you,” he murmured against Alexander’s mouth, pulling away and drawing him close once more. Thomas felt exhausted, wanting nothing more than to curl up with Alexander and stay there, amongst the sinfully comfortable bedding, forever. He felt completely satiated, happiness spreading through every part of him like warm honey.  _ Everything  _ was perfect. The title of President of the United States was his and his lover lay by his side with no malicious words to be said. There was only one thing that kept him back: his pseudo-confession and its effects on him. 

“I missed you too, Thomas. Never thought I would.” Thomas felt his breathing stutter, butterflies forming in his stomach. He spoke before he could properly understand his words, asking Alexander what he had never before requested of him. 

“Stay here tonight.” Alexander shifted, his wine-dulled tiredness keeping him from being truly shocked. “I can draw us a bath in the morning.” To his surprise, Alexander nodded, his smile so incredibly sincere that it stole the air from Thomas’s lungs. 

“That would be nice,” he whispered, pressing his lips against Thomas’s collarbone and relaxing completely. Thomas was almost completely sure Alexander had fallen asleep, but after a few moments, he looked up and spoke again, a new kind of determination in his expression, one that immediately piqued Thomas’s cautious curiosity. 

“Thomas, I—” Thomas immediately froze, the blood in his veins tingling with anticipation. There was only one thing that vulnerable look on Alexander’s face could mean. It was a perfect mirror of Martha the day he first proposed, adoration written plainly over him. Maybe that was why he refused to stay the night before, because he was so afraid of his blissed-out state revealing something he wanted to keep hidden.  _ Could it be? _

Alexander paused, and Thomas didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t in love with Alexander Hamilton. He simply couldn't be. It was impossible, one of those things that simply did not happen, not in this life, nor in the next. And yet Thomas couldn’t stop thinking of the gentleness with which he held Alexander, every rock of their hips unifying them, setting their intertwined bodies alight and letting them burn  _ together.  _

And yet there, with Alexander in his arms, looking up at him with brilliant dark eyes, soft lips turned up into a smile, Thomas found it hard to deny the feelings that had wormed their way into his heart.

And yet Thomas’s fluttering heart and certain mind made Alexander’s hesitation all the more terrifying. What if he had misinterpreted and Alexander’s feelings didn’t extend past mere lust? He was starting to teeter on the edge of something foreign, something dangerous. 

And yet Alexander was the one who supported him, drank with him, laughed with him, touched him in a way that no one else could. They had memorized everything about each other’s skin, every spot that would make their breathing quicken and flesh burn with desire. Was it so insane to believe that they had memorized every trick of the heart as well?

And yet Thomas’s mind began to soften with the realization that maybe the reason he had felt so empty all along was because Alexander already had his heart from the start. He had never wanted anything more than to stay like this, enveloped by warm covers that trapped their feelings underneath, letting it stick to their skin until they could deny it no longer. 

And yet the gap between physical and emotional had never seemed wider. Was Thomas ready to take the risk of admitting that, leaving himself bare before a man who he had viciously fought with for the better part of a decade? Would it be worth it? Assuming he was right about what Alexander was about to say, assuming he was right about his own complicated emotions, assuming the President could get away with an affair like this. Could they overcome every cruel remark and mocking taunt for a mere chance at the affection they both desperately craved? 

_ And yet, _ Thomas realized, _ he loved Alexander, and that was all that mattered.  _ They could figure out all of the remaining complications together. As soon as Alexander would gather his courage and finish speaking, his voice like the first beam of morning light.

“—love you.”

 

_ And yet. _

 

“I love you too.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing smut, so please tell me what you think!  
> This was originally supposed to be a scene in At Least They Know I Know Where France Is, but I changed it and made it more smutty and emotional.  
> I would also like to give a big thanks to swanofthelake, my darling wife whom I love very much <3 Thank you for giving me dialogue ideas and helping me edit this.  
> Also: I made an Instagram! Follow me at @lightningin.abottle for behind-the-scenes and snippets.  
> I greatly appreciate all feedback, especially considering this is my first smut fic!


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